by Pam Mandich

I am home now. After coming to Canada for the Christmas holidays, it has become clear to me that Abu Dhabi is now home; at least for me, at least for now.

The idea of going to Canada seemed like a good one. We had plenty of time (I thought) with three weeks to visit. I had lots and lots of plans — places to go, people to see, relatives to visit. And of course, nothing is more romantic to a Canadian abroad than the idea of a white Christmas.

But as with all the best laid plans and romanticized ideas of going “home”, the reality was much, much different. In the end, there was not nearly enough time. I saw less than half the people I wanted to see, after all Christmas is a busy time for everyone and everyone, of course, has their own visiting schedule.

Places to go; I didn’t even hit 25 percent of my list. Relatives, and I have plenty. I saw them all for about 10 minutes each if you average it out. About the right amount of time for the breaking the ice small talk and not much else.

As for the romantic, white Christmas, three days of snow was enough for me. I realized that I don’t like being cold, I don’t like ritual of bundling up in order to go outside and I don’t like driving (which you have to do a lot of when visiting) in blowing snow.

And while the world looks wonderful under a fresh blanket of snow, nothing is more depressing than dirty slush and steel grey skies. Give me sunshine and sandal weather any day of the week; actually, living in Abu Dhabi that is what you get every day of the week!

Living through this cyclonic visit of rushing here, there and everywhere exhausted me. I felt like I needed a vacation to recuperate from my vacation. I have now decided that the next time we come back to Canada, we are going to rent a nice cottage and send out a general invitation to all; here we are and you are welcome to come and join us. And we will be doing this in July, not December.

All of this rushing and exhaustion and not being able to get everything done that I had planned contributed to the idea that Canada was no longer home. But what really made me realize that my heart now lived somewhere else was how I felt the moment I walked through the front door of my house. Yes, I said house because the moment I crossed the threshold and was standing inside, I knew that this was no longer my home.

Anyone who knows me knows that I truly love my home in Stouffville. The moment I walked in the door eight years ago, I knew it was my home, that this was where I was supposed to be.

It took my husband and me over five months to buy it, but never once did I doubt it would be our home. But now, after being away for a year, it no longer feels like home. I no longer feel like it is a part of me; my heart now belongs somewhere else.

I am not sure when this happened. I guess life goes forward and we go along with it. All I do know is that I am now home. And my house is now for sale.

mcmandich@gmail.com

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